Tag Archives: sleep

Sleep: My Blessing and My Curse

sleep-whats-sleepThere’s no question that, when you’re trying to manage mental illness, sleep is especially important. But there are times when my dastardly sleep cycle plays tricks on me. It makes want to scream “Why me, God! Why me!”

My sleep cycle has been especially haywire lately. Either I can hardly sleep at all, or all I want to do is sleep. There’s almost no in-between. Last night, I got maybe three hours of sleep, even though I was very tired when I turned out the lights. I swear, I did everything I know how to do. I tried getting in comfortable positions, and all that led to was a lot of tossing and turning. I told myself to think calm thoughts. My mind responded by racing. I don’t even remember what the racing thoughts were. I just remember being very, very frustrated. Now, that’s it’s morning, I feel like shit.

I don’t know what to do about it. I thought I had this problem licked a few weeks ago when my doctor adjusted my meds. For a while, I was sleeping normally, which for me, amounts to 6-7 hours a night.

But now, my cycle is off again. And especially when I can’t sleep, my waking hours are so much harder. I’ve tried reading before bed, but all I want to do is read more. A friend of mine has an unusual remedy. He reads, but he deliberately reads things that he has no interest in whatsoever. This does the trick for him. He falls asleep out of boredom — but he falls asleep.

I may try that. Or maybe I’ll move my meditation from the morning to the evening. I don’t know. I just want to be able to count on a good night’s sleep.

Are there any tricks you use to fall asleep (non-med related because God knows I take enough meds as it is, and I don’t want to take more)?

Feel free to share in the comment section.





I love sleep — too much

I saw a meme the other day that made me laugh. It said:

Sleep. It’s like death. Without the commitment.

I can relate. Most mornings, it’s damn hard for me to get up and get out of bed. It doesn’t seem to matter how much sleep I got the night before, or how much exercise I get. I know this is very common among people with depression, and I don’t have the answer for it. I wish I did.

But somehow, some way, I find a way to get up. Today, I did it by checking my Facebook page. On it, I found a message from a friend who’s moving. He has a reprint of Renoir’s┬áBal du moulin┬áde la Galette, and he’s not going to have room for it in his new digs. He offered it to me. At no charge. Despite the fact that I often would rather sleep more than anything else, I still have friends who are so thoughtful and kind. That makes me grateful. That makes me want to get up.