I got a haircut today. Big deal, right?
Well, for me, it kind of was. I had been growing my hair long for several years. I always liked it, but most others didn’t. In ways both direct and subliminal, lots of people suggested that I ditch the hippie look. I’m a little melancholy about giving it up.
Part of it stems from my history. My grandfather on my mother’s side was bald, and I was told over and over again that baldness skips a generation. Somehow, I had it implanted within me that baldness would be a fate worse than death.
Well, I’m not bald, and when I grew my hair long, I wanted to celebrate that. But people mistook my long hair for something else. Some even tied it to my mental illness. Even in my lowest state, I’ve always showered and washed my hair. But apparently, I didn’t look like I took care of those basic items. Even some mental health professionals thought this way. I have my records from when I was hospitalized last year. One of the first things that the intake doctor wrote about me was, “hair looks wild and unkept.” I laughed when I read that. Geez. Maybe I didn’t think to comb my hair when I was suicidal. My mistake!
Sometimes, I struggle with the push-pull of individualism, and capitulating to public opinion. But the other day, I got a coupon for a haircut, and I figured maybe that was a sign. So now, I’m back to short hair. I put a photo on Facebook and I’m getting a lot of likes–more than I often got with my long hair. That’s nice. I’m still not sure if I like my new look. But I like getting likes. I’m human and I’ve got an ego just like anyone else. I’m posting before and after photos to show the difference.
But I’m also posting a video from the Broadway musical Hair.
Because even now, I’m a hippie at heart.