I don’t want to get up. But today, it’s not because of my depression. It’s because it’s 2 degrees below zero here in Boston. That’s not factoring in the wind chill, which makes it feel something like 30 below. That’s what the weatherman on TV just said. I’ll take his word for it.
Actually, I have gotten up, but just to go to the bathroom and make breakfast. And coffee. Hot, dark-roasted coffee that I am drinking in bed, because I got back into bed as soon as I could.
But I do have to get up. And out. I have appointments today. I shouldn’t miss them. Boston may be an icebox today, but it’s not shutting down. If I stayed in bed all day and missed my appointments, my depression WOULD be the culprit.
I’m not going to let that happen. A friend actually posted this on his Facebook feed this morning: “We shall face the day with the spirit and fortitude that New Englanders are known for!” My attitude is more like, “fuck this shit.”
But I will heed his advice. I will get up, go out, and face the day. In lots of layers, of course. But I will do what it takes. I will not let my depression win today.