No, the whole world is NOT trying to screw me

Several weeks ago, I sent a private message to a Facebook friend and told him about this blog. I’ve never met him, but we’ve communicated frequently through social media. He has done a lot of research on brain function and has even written a popular book about it. I figured he’d be a very good resource for the blog. He quickly answered, saying that I had a lot of “super information” in my blog, and he gave me suggestions about other resources and possible contacts.

In other words, he was quite encouraging and helpful. Ah, but I didn’t take it that way. I took his response as: “he just said what he said to be nice. He really hates my blog. He’s just trying to pass me off on other people.”

So, when he messaged me this morning, saying that he did some more research and discovered more solid suggestions for resources, I was surprised. I thought to myself, “holy crap! He really does want to be helpful! He really does like my blog!”

Chalk this up as another example of me dealing with people by thinking the worst of them. I know this is a very common characteristic of people with depression and anxiety. Needless to say, it’s not a big help when it comes to building connections, friendships, and relationships.

Like so many others who have trouble trusting people, I was abused as a child. The abuse was both mental and physical. Therapy has helped me deal with this. But I’ve never quite been able to get past the gut feeling that people are trying to hurt me. It’s one of those things that just won’t go away.

But the therapy I’m getting now gives me hope. It’s cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), where the focus isn’t as much on your past as it is on behaviors that can change your way of thinking. The idea is that even if you can’t quite control the thought–you CAN control your behavior (or reaction) to it.

When my friend messaged me this morning, I was able to take in his generosity and kindness. And he really does think my blog is “super.” It’s a step in the right direction that’s good for my ego and my confidence. I’ve said it before: depression and anxiety are liars. They make you believe things that most often are not true. My friend gave me kindness this morning–and a healthy dose of truth. I am very grateful.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

The Waltham Review

The Waltham Review: America's Choice in Nanomedia!

Lifestyle Blog: living with fear & anxiety

The real time thoughts of Sabrina

Eye Will Not Cry

"Eye Fly High"

Dearest Someone,

Writing about wellbeing

Dear Hope

Mental health advocacy through storytelling and art.

A Narcissist Writes Letters, To Himself

A Hopefully Formerly Depressed Human Vows To Practice Self-Approval

Megan Has OCD

About Mental Health, Daily Struggles, and Whatever Else Pops in My Head

My Wonderland. Mental Health Blog

Finding normality within Bipolarity. The inner musings of a chemically challenged manic-depressive. Mildly* asocial and a purveyor of awesome.


Healing Truth Artistry

Grief Happens

So Does Joy

I Want To Go To There

A Blog About: Coping with depression, the people and animals I love, and finding the things that make me really fucking happy.

Seth Adam Smith

Life Is Worth Living

The Elephant in the Room

Writing about my experiences with: depression, anxiety, OCD and Aspergers

Running Heartless

My transformation from Depressed Couch Potato to Disney Runner

Fred Colton

Posts To Delete Later

The Persistent Platypus

Life's journey may not always be easy, but being true to your unique self and finding laughter in the small things makes the adventure unforgettable!

Caffeine and Salt

Watch your step, I lost my meaning.

%d bloggers like this: