When I started this blog a few months ago, I had a goal of attracting 100 followers by the end of the year. Today, I am very happy to report that I have reached this goal, with just over a week and a half left in the year. I set a goal, and I’ve reached it. I must not be the complete failure that my depression tells me I am.
And, just as important, I must not be alone in feeling what I am feeling. Though I try to make this blog as informative and even entertaining as I can, there’s no escaping the fact that I often bring up uneasy, uncomfortable subjects: depression, anxiety, suicide, self-harm, mental illness stigma, and all the crap that we endure, even from the “systems” designed to help us. That’s what I write about. And with topics like these, I’m never going to “break the internet” like Kim Kardashian. I thank my followers not just for following me, but for their willingness to join me on my journey.
I consider this blog as a big part of my recovery process. As a writer, I have kept journals off and on for years. But with a blog, I can’t just close a notebook, shove it in a drawer, and show it to no one. A blog goes “out there.” People see it. To me, there is something bold and exciting about that.
It’s a little frightening, too. The other day, one of my therapists (yes, I have several) asked me, “You ARE aware that people can SEE all this, right?” I answered in the affirmative. And yes, I do think that there’s a possibility that some people who may want to hire me for a job, or who might want to get to know me better, will see this blog and go “Oh boy, I better stay away from this one.”
But I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m willing to take that risk. Even better, I’ve met other bloggers who are taking the same kinds of risks. Through this blog, I have come to realize that the blogosphere really is a big new frontier when it comes to being open about mental illness. Again and again, I am reminded that I am not alone. That WE are not alone.
So again, to all my followers, thank you. I promise to continue blogging well into next year and beyond. Kim Kardashian, eat your heart out!