TGIF — with reservations

It’s Friday, the day when T, G, I, and F become the most popular letters in the alphabet. I’m happy for the weekend, too — sort of.

The weekend means free time. With my depression and anxiety, I don’t do well with free time. So, in order to “trick” my mind, I have to put everything on a schedule — even the fun stuff. It’s not easy for me to do this. It was first suggested to me when I was in the hospital. I was more comfortable with “to do” lists. My therapists said that wasn’t enough. They handed me an Excel-like printout listing every hour of the day. They wanted me to fill out every hour that I possibly could.

It’s all about a sense of structure. The more structure I create, the less likely I am to wake up on Saturday, think I have nothing to do  — and then just stay in bed. It’s way too easy for me to fall in to that trap without structure.

I’m going to be working a lot this weekend, so that gives me instant structure. But I also write in times for eating, exercising, writing, and even working on this blog. Also on the schedule: a meeting with a good friend at a coffee shop, grocery shopping, and watching my New England Patriots beat the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday Night Football. (Sorry, Colts fans.)

As long as I stick to my structure, I think I’ll be okay. How do you handle time on the weekend? Feel free to comment. I could always use more suggestions.


2 responses to “TGIF — with reservations

  • RunningHeartless

    Interesting… Deadlines and schedules actually make my anxiety worse. I’ve has to teach myself to live without a watch and I only check my phone’s clock to gage EJ’s mood (he’s getting really crabby, oh no wonder it’s 3 pm and he woke up a 7 this morning. I should probably put him down for a nap). Anything else and I become a compulsive time checker (sometime checking several times per minute) and get really agitated because time isn’t moving fast enough. Or alternatively I get worried that I’m going to miss/forget an event, even if I have an alarm set, and get stressed about worrying about missing my alarm.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Susannah

    That’s what we’ve all been waiting for! Great posgtni!


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